Seinfeld Reunion! (Sort of...)

Larry wonders why his father is wearing Morty Seinfeld's glasses.

Good news for Seinfeld & Curb Your Enthusiasm fans. The entire gang will appear in several episodes in the upcoming season of CYE.

Seinfeld Cast To Appear On CYE

Happy Holidays!

Hopefully everyone out there had a great Festivus, Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanza, etc.

Deborah Messing

Stormy:

11. Which one of Jerry's many girlfriends is your favorite?
"I can't just pick one! In no particular order, Deborah Messing, the anti-dentite, Sophie, the one with the tractor story, Claire, the one who didn't like The Voice, Tia Van Camp, the one who caught Jerry picking and finally, Christine Taylor, the one who everyone thought was a loser, but really wasn't."
--
It's funny, pal. Whenever I see that episode, I'm floored by how gorgeous she is. She really is amazing -- the smile, the hair, the teeth, the eyes, the body. She really had it all, and I do mean had.

Whenever I flip the channels and see Will and Grace, I usually flip back to watch a bit. But only to see how skinny Messing is. It's sickly and sad because she is a beautiful woman -- or was. And maybe this is a tribute to how sad I am. I haven't seen a new episode of Will and Grace ever, and I don't even know when they stopped making new ones. I mean, she looked really good in Along Came Polly; I think that was her. Yeah, it was. She broke Ben's heart. Jerk.

Anyway, she definitely forgot a couple of meals between Seinfeld and Along Came Polly, and that's too bad. Because she was the only thing worth watching more than three minutes of Will and Grace, and when you're only watching it to see a glimpse of Messing, and that's all I ever saw -- you know, because she was stick thin; she had a nice bone structure, though -- it's a problem.

Hmm. I wish I could have those last six minutes back. Don't you?

Oh, and Christine Taylor is so incredibly beautiful. She makes my knees buckle. And I thought that when I was 6, too, watching "Hey, Dude" on Nickelodeon. Melody was a fierce babe -- way better than Brad. Remember Buddy? He was a Mets fan, Stormy. A Mets fan in the Wild West. The two of them brought the Bar None Ranch some class.

OK. Goodnight.

The Biography, Part 3

We continue our look inside the brains of the operation here at TPRBT.

Today it's Mike P.

1. What kind of pasta are you?
Cellenaini. I’ve got a rigid surface, but I’m a sturdy person.

2. What's your stance on parking: Backing in or front-first?
Always back into the space. Not only is it proper, but it demonstrates way more skill. If you’ve got what it takes to back into a spot on a crowded street, you’re a winner. And, parking spots are a lot like life: To the victor go the spoils.

3. If you had three months' severance pay, how would you spend your time?
I’d lose my pants and sleep all day, periodically checking my bank account to see how much my company thought of me. On occasion, I’d go by the office and sit outside, just to see all the schmucks who wanted me gone. Hey, it’s a public sidewalk. Pay me to leave that, too.

4. If someone offered you a bite of their desert, would you take it and why?
Absolutely. I’m not a psycho. Plus it’s free.

5. Which of the four main characters best fits your personality?
I’m a mix between Jerry and George. I’m a born leader, and when I lived in my hometown, my house was the meeting point. And I’m neat, too. Thank God I’m 15 pounds overweight, otherwise people would think I’m a homosexual. And I’ve broken up with a woman for using poor grammar.

But I’m like George because I’ve very particular about almost everything, and I analyze just about everything to death. I’m sure there are more, but I’ve got to go to work soon.

6. If you had one to spare, would you spare a square?
Of course, I would. But if one hand touches me from underneath that wall, so help me, God, I’m going to take aim over it.

7. How long would you wait in the restaurant lobby for a good meal?
I’d wait about a half-hour, depending on what I’ve got to do. I once waited at Olive Garden for 45 minutes on Valentine’s Day when I was 17. I’m not sure I’d ever do that again, though, and I like the breadsticks a lot.

8. Could you win The Contest?
I’ve already won a contest. Back in college, my best friend and I tried it. He made it 42 days, so he said; he’s a lot like George, a liar. Even with that knowledge, I pushed myself, and my will, and lasted 153 days. I’ll never do that again, either.

9. What's the combination to your vault?
Tequila, nachos and gnocchi. Not at the same time, though. Could you imagine the mess?

10. Would you bring a date to an open surgery?
Probably. I’d be the one making excuses to bail, even if it were my own. But if I had to go, I’d want to take someone down with me. But I don’t get dates, so I’d probably go alone anyway.

11. Which one of Jerry's many girlfriends is your favorite?
I’m a big sucker for Lori Loughlin, Patty – the one who unleashes Jerry’s anger. Boy, would I be in trouble for doing things to my Aunt Becky. I’d have to move to West Virginia or something.

12. If you were going to change your name, what would it be?
It’d be Squints Palledorous or Zack Morris. Either one would be killer. Think of the women would flock to me. I’d have all the Kelly Kapowskis and Wendy Peffercorns of the world.

13. Seven or Soda?
Seven, definitely. It’s not that I don’t care for soda; I do. I just think Seven’s a stronger name … like Mug.

14. Would you give the Pig Man a ride home?
It depends. Is he wearing pants or shoes? Because no one gets in my car without pants or shoes.

15. If it's hovering above the cylinder, is it garbage?
It depends on how delicious said object was. There are grey areas in life, you know.

16. Who's your favorite explorer?
Zebulon Pike: The man who gave us Pike’s Peak. I did a report on him in fifth grade. Well, my mom did most of the work. But I read it – some of it, at least.

17. Brett had "Desparado". What's your song?
It’s Green Day’s “Basket Case.” I swear, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing; if I hear that song, I’m dead to the world.

18. Is soup a meal?
What kind of soup? Lately, soup, and only soup, has been my lunch. The cream of mushroom is very filling, as are any of the Chunky soups. Those are meals. But you don’t order soup in a restaurant and call that a meal. Unless you’re retarded or something – like Billy.

19. Would you rather date the blind or the deaf?
I’d rather date the deaf. Sight is important to me. I like playing games and being athletic, and blindness, I imagine, would make them very difficult. I love talking – and typing – but at least my deaf woman could read my lips. I can learn to live with that.

20. Which of all the salted cured meats do you find to be the most sensual?
Ham, easily. Ham is good for all occasions except for Thanksgiving. But I’m still thankful for it.

The Biography, Part 2

Here's the second look into our braintrust, this time, it's me!

1. What kind of pasta are you?
Tri-colored rotini all the way.

2. What's your stance on parking: Backing in or front-first?
Under normal circumstances, backing in. You would need at least ten car lengths to pull in front-first.

3. If you had three months' severance pay, how would you spend your time?
I'm not sure I would drape myself in velvet and eat blocks of cheese, but I would definitely take it easy. I would only wake up to my internal alarm clock, spend a lot of time reading and playing video games. I suppose I could find a good internship somewhere and try to get some real world corporate experience.

4. If someone offered you a bite of their dessert, would you take it and why?
As long as it was something I liked, most definitely. I like simple desserts, nothing fancy. I'm not a fan of creme filled stuff.

5. Which of the four main characters best fits your personality?
I'd like to think I'm fairly "normal" like Jerry, but I know I have many quirks, so I'd be a cross between Kramer & George. After all, I am afraid of clowns.

6. If you had one to spare, would you spare a square?
Only if I had one to spare.

7. How long would you wait in the restaurant lobby for a good meal?
It would obviously depend on what restaurant. If it was your average run-of-the-mill place, twenty minutes. If it was my favorite, I could kill 45 minutes to an hour.

8. Could you win The Contest?
Prognosis Negative...

9. What's the combination to your vault?
I don't drink, so it most certainly wouldn't be peach schnapps. It would be a toss-up between Vanilla Coke and a Slush Puppie.

10. Would you bring a date to an open surgery?
Yeah, I'm going to have to say no to this, unless it was mine. If I'm awake, I'd be a little squeamish as soon as the first incision was made.

11. Which one of Jerry's many girlfriends is your favorite?
I can't just pick one! In no particular order, Deborah Messing, the anti-dentite, Sophie, the one with the tractor story, Claire, the one who didn't like The Voice, Tia Van Camp, the one who caught Jerry picking and finally, Christine Taylor, the one who everyone thought was a loser, but really wasn't.

12. If you were going to change your name, what would it be?
Al Knockerup, an ode to another funny man, Red.

13. Seven or Soda?
Soda. If George's favorite player was Ron Darling, Twelve would be a much better choice, but in this instance, Soda gets the nod.

14. Would you give the Pig Man a ride home?
Sure. I mean, he's half pig, half man, who wouldn't want to share a ride with the Pig Man? Plus, I wouldn't want him to take the bus.

15. If it's hovering about the cylinder, is it garbage?
Oh yeah, it's garbage. If it's even close to the rim, it's garbage.

16. Who's your favorite explorer?
Adriean Block, who found my favorite place on earth, Fishers Island.

17. Brett had "Desparado". What's your song?
I'd have to go with "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters, although "Pac Man Fever" would be a close second.

18. Is soup a meal?
Absolutely not. On this issue, there is no debate!

19. Would you rather date the blind or the deaf?
The deaf. I've always wanted to learn sign language. Also, I could still be a slob & leave stuff all over the place and not have to worry about her tripping over it.

20. Which of all the salted cured meats do you find to be the most sensual?
Pepperoni all the way!

The Gathering

This past Saturday, four of the Fabulous Five (we were minus Mike P.) gathered at Chez Stormy for a spirited bout of Scene It Seinfeld.

Eric, aka Jackie Chiles, dominated the dojo, winning two out of three games and finishing second in the one he lost to yours truly. (How he dominated while not knowing why the ocean called George, I'll never know.)

It was a great time and the results are most certainly not indicative of each person's knowledge of Seinfeld. A lot had to do with unlucky rolls of the dice, either resulting in minimal movement around the board (Mike O.) or "buzz cards", which are momentum killers. (Johnny V.)

The game itself didn't disappoint. I was concerned that the questions would be too easy for dedicated fans such as ourselves, but that wasn't the case. Sure there were really easy ones, but there were more than enough questions that had us all stumped.

The clips that we saw were great and covered the entire run of the show. My personal favorites were the clips shown once someone had won the game. (Elaine clapping at the spinning tires from "The Abstinence" and Kramer riding the bike through Jerry's apartment from "The Seven".)

The beauty of the game is the dialogue it inspires. We laughed more talking about different moments that we thought of on our own than we did at the ones the game reminded us of.

All in all it was a great day and hopefully we can do it again soon.

I'd write the game a solid A and recommend it to any Seinfeld fan.

The Biography, Part 1

Here is the first of five Q & A's with our contributors to the PRBT.

First up, Johnny V.

1. What kind of pasta are you?
#2 penne.

2. What's your stance on parking: Backing in or front-first?
No negotiating... there's only one way to park and that's to back in (unless you have at least two Peterman bus lengths).

3. If you had three months' severance pay, how would you spend your time?
Eating non-fat frozen yogurt, building an alarm clock that tells you the weather when you wake up and making my own pizza pies.

4. If someone offered you a bite of their desert, would you take it and why?
I'd have to pass due to germs (unless the fruit is real and spectacular).

5. Which of the four main characters best fits your personality?
I'm most like Jerry with germs, like George with paranoia and like Kramer with the kevorka.

6. If you had one to spare, would you spare a square?
Oh yeah... and I'd hope the favor would be returned if I needed it.

7. How long would you wait in the restaurant lobby for a good meal?
Not very patient when I'm hungry, so not long at all. However, if I had a BIG salad for lunch then I could hang out a little longer.

8. Could you win The Contest?
In this scenario, I'm most like Kramer.

9. What's the combination to your vault?
I locked it in the vault and I don't remember the combination.

10. Would you bring a date to an open surgery?
Yes, but I'd have to get my wife some envelopes to lick first.

11. Which one of Jerry's many girlfriends is your favorite?
Good naked - bad naked. (Melissa)

12. If you were going to change your name, what would it be?
Slippery Pete.

13. Seven or Soda?
Seven... not a soda fan at all.

14. Would you give the Pig Man a ride home?
Provided I don't drive a two-seater and if it was on my way home.

15. If it's hovering about the cylinder, is it garbage?
Yes, especially if it's not your house.

16. Who's your favorite explorer?
Christopher Columbus.

17. Brett had "Desparado". What's your song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.

18. Is soup a meal?
Not for me. It would never fill me up. Plus I've been working out... I'm huge!

19. Would you rather date the blind or the deaf?
The deaf so I could talk to the phone sex operators without her knowing.

20. Which of all the salted cured meats do you find to be the most sensual?
Genoa.