The Biography, Part 1

Here is the first of five Q & A's with our contributors to the PRBT.

First up, Johnny V.

1. What kind of pasta are you?
#2 penne.

2. What's your stance on parking: Backing in or front-first?
No negotiating... there's only one way to park and that's to back in (unless you have at least two Peterman bus lengths).

3. If you had three months' severance pay, how would you spend your time?
Eating non-fat frozen yogurt, building an alarm clock that tells you the weather when you wake up and making my own pizza pies.

4. If someone offered you a bite of their desert, would you take it and why?
I'd have to pass due to germs (unless the fruit is real and spectacular).

5. Which of the four main characters best fits your personality?
I'm most like Jerry with germs, like George with paranoia and like Kramer with the kevorka.

6. If you had one to spare, would you spare a square?
Oh yeah... and I'd hope the favor would be returned if I needed it.

7. How long would you wait in the restaurant lobby for a good meal?
Not very patient when I'm hungry, so not long at all. However, if I had a BIG salad for lunch then I could hang out a little longer.

8. Could you win The Contest?
In this scenario, I'm most like Kramer.

9. What's the combination to your vault?
I locked it in the vault and I don't remember the combination.

10. Would you bring a date to an open surgery?
Yes, but I'd have to get my wife some envelopes to lick first.

11. Which one of Jerry's many girlfriends is your favorite?
Good naked - bad naked. (Melissa)

12. If you were going to change your name, what would it be?
Slippery Pete.

13. Seven or Soda?
Seven... not a soda fan at all.

14. Would you give the Pig Man a ride home?
Provided I don't drive a two-seater and if it was on my way home.

15. If it's hovering about the cylinder, is it garbage?
Yes, especially if it's not your house.

16. Who's your favorite explorer?
Christopher Columbus.

17. Brett had "Desparado". What's your song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.

18. Is soup a meal?
Not for me. It would never fill me up. Plus I've been working out... I'm huge!

19. Would you rather date the blind or the deaf?
The deaf so I could talk to the phone sex operators without her knowing.

20. Which of all the salted cured meats do you find to be the most sensual?
Genoa.